Everybody Runs - A Colonial Edge of the Empire Campaign

Trouble in Paradise

(Just another sun-shiny day in the best place off Earth)


Last time on Everybody Runs:

Finn: “I’m gunna be the very best, like no one ever was!”

Gargo: “You know, on Spacebook, Moisture-farmville made agriculture look a lot easier.”

MaximusMaximus: “You know, if I needed to, a body would fit really easily in there…”

Today’s Episode

After completing their farming lesson for the day, the posse returned to the ranch. When they arrived, they found a group of Nikto awaiting them.

“We’re here to remind you about the protection tax. It’s due,” said what appeared to be the leader of the pack.

“I don’t recall seeing you folks around before,” said Memphis, “who’re you?”

“Proud members of the Ironhound Gang, who’re you?”

“”/characters/memphis" class=“wiki-content-link”>Marshal Memphis Tyrain."

A squint-off ensued. The gang members murmurred to themselves.

“It’s the law Naaman!” said one of them.

“Shut up, Trann!” said the leader.

“I believe you fellows can find your way out,” said Memphis.

The Nikto talked amongst themselves in their monther tongue; Gargo managed to catch them saying something about “the Patriarch.” They glared at the posse, then hopped on their bikes and rode away.

Afterwards, the posse discussed the need to bolster security. This led the group to decide that exploring their immediate vicinity would benefit their defensive knowledge. Thus, they left to acquaint themselves with the local topography.

However, whilst trudging through the underbrush enjoying their jolly walk in the wilderness, they encountered… a Gator-hound. Basicially, these creatures are Lovecraftian abominations that live on Xibalba. They are as tough and ugly as they sound.

The struggle was, as the kids say these days, “for real.” Wyn managed to land a killing blow with his force pike, pinning the monster to the ground. However, the thing’s mate jumped on Wyn from behind, knocking him down.

Gargo took two shots at the new monster, drawing its ire. It turned and attacked, latching onto Gargo and shaking him back and forth.

Memphis drilled the gator-hound with a blast from his blaster pistol, killing it. Gargo picked himself up, crawling out of the mouth of the gator-hound.

“What’s that?” asked Finn.

The group noted that the gator-hound’s nest was nearby. Curious, they explored and found an egg. With dreams of possessing their very own pet gator-hound, they took it in.

Not wanting to waste any meat, the posse called Bonda to have her bring Socerer around, and they loaded the gator hounds into the back.

Happy with the hunt, the group headed back. Unhappy with the posse in general, the Ironhound Gang attacked them en route. They opened fire.

Memphis returned fire and took out one of the riders.

Then, Gargo had an idea. A crazy idea… He reached into his bag and pulled out a handful of awesome, about the size of an apple: an armor-piercing grenade.

Well, it would’ve been awesome, but it didn’t work. He tossed the grenade out the back, but it kicked off a clod of dirt and took out a chunk of earth, missing the enemy rider entirely.

Theeeeen Wyn decided to stick the MARSHAL with experimental drugs. This lead to the Marshal shooting the last gang member through the eye-hole. In Memphis’ mind, however, he saw himself squeeze the stem of a root, which immediately bloomed into a flower, casting a seedling towards a tauntaun riding on the back of a fast-moving dewback; the tauntaun fell off and became a pile of leaves when the seedling hit it.

Afterwards, Memphis had some very strong words with Wyn regarding the time and place his “medicinal” drugs could be used (i.e. never again on the Marshal’s body).

Additionally, the posse managed to get three speeder bikes out of the deal, seeing as how their former owners were no longer in need of their function.


So THAT’S what Tyrain’s drug trips look like.

Trouble in Paradise

Its medicinal…

Trouble in Paradise

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