Everybody Runs - A Colonial Edge of the Empire Campaign

Trouble in Paradise
(Just another sun-shiny day in the best place off Earth)


Last time on Everybody Runs:

Finn: “I’m gunna be the very best, like no one ever was!”

Gargo: “You know, on Spacebook, Moisture-farmville made agriculture look a lot easier.”

MaximusMaximus: “You know, if I needed to, a body would fit really easily in there…”

Today’s Episode

After completing their farming lesson for the day, the posse returned to the ranch. When they arrived, they found a group of Nikto awaiting them.

“We’re here to remind you about the protection tax. It’s due,” said what appeared to be the leader of the pack.

“I don’t recall seeing you folks around before,” said Memphis, “who’re you?”

“Proud members of the Ironhound Gang, who’re you?”

“”/characters/memphis" class=“wiki-content-link”>Marshal Memphis Tyrain."

A squint-off ensued. The gang members murmurred to themselves.

“It’s the law Naaman!” said one of them.

“Shut up, Trann!” said the leader.

“I believe you fellows can find your way out,” said Memphis.

The Nikto talked amongst themselves in their monther tongue; Gargo managed to catch them saying something about “the Patriarch.” They glared at the posse, then hopped on their bikes and rode away.

Afterwards, the posse discussed the need to bolster security. This led the group to decide that exploring their immediate vicinity would benefit their defensive knowledge. Thus, they left to acquaint themselves with the local topography.

However, whilst trudging through the underbrush enjoying their jolly walk in the wilderness, they encountered… a Gator-hound. Basicially, these creatures are Lovecraftian abominations that live on Xibalba. They are as tough and ugly as they sound.

The struggle was, as the kids say these days, “for real.” Wyn managed to land a killing blow with his force pike, pinning the monster to the ground. However, the thing’s mate jumped on Wyn from behind, knocking him down.

Gargo took two shots at the new monster, drawing its ire. It turned and attacked, latching onto Gargo and shaking him back and forth.

Memphis drilled the gator-hound with a blast from his blaster pistol, killing it. Gargo picked himself up, crawling out of the mouth of the gator-hound.

“What’s that?” asked Finn.

The group noted that the gator-hound’s nest was nearby. Curious, they explored and found an egg. With dreams of possessing their very own pet gator-hound, they took it in.

Not wanting to waste any meat, the posse called Bonda to have her bring Socerer around, and they loaded the gator hounds into the back.

Happy with the hunt, the group headed back. Unhappy with the posse in general, the Ironhound Gang attacked them en route. They opened fire.

Memphis returned fire and took out one of the riders.

Then, Gargo had an idea. A crazy idea… He reached into his bag and pulled out a handful of awesome, about the size of an apple: an armor-piercing grenade.

Well, it would’ve been awesome, but it didn’t work. He tossed the grenade out the back, but it kicked off a clod of dirt and took out a chunk of earth, missing the enemy rider entirely.

Theeeeen Wyn decided to stick the MARSHAL with experimental drugs. This lead to the Marshal shooting the last gang member through the eye-hole. In Memphis’ mind, however, he saw himself squeeze the stem of a root, which immediately bloomed into a flower, casting a seedling towards a tauntaun riding on the back of a fast-moving dewback; the tauntaun fell off and became a pile of leaves when the seedling hit it.

Afterwards, Memphis had some very strong words with Wyn regarding the time and place his “medicinal” drugs could be used (i.e. never again on the Marshal’s body).

Additionally, the posse managed to get three speeder bikes out of the deal, seeing as how their former owners were no longer in need of their function.

Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch
(Home, Home on the Large Field-like Plains)


Last time, on Everybody Runs:

Finn: “My past won’t catch up with me here. I mean, what are the odds?”

Wyn: “Anybody else wanna negotiate with mah beatin’ stick?!”


Today’s Episode

Finally, after many tears, pain, and one nasty showdown, the posse arrived at the ranch. Memphis received first aid, and then promptly when to bed. The rest of the posse followed suit shortly thereafter.

It was the beginning of a scary story sterotype that night. By that, I mean it was a dark and stormy night. The sound dampeners kept the noise down, and the party slept soundly. However, even over the work of the dampeners, there came a rapping at the ranch’s back door.

Gargo and Finn were the only ones who heard the sound. Curious, they answered the back door. There, standing in the rain, was a drenched man wearing a long coat and wide hat.

“Oh, zank goodness—I’ve been knocking for quite some time and was getting tired,” he said.

“Umm… What’s your name?” they asked.

“”/characters/robin-williams-homage" class=“wiki-content-link”>Hennik," he replied, rather placidly.

“And, how did you get here?” they asked.

“I walked,” he replied.

Stunned, and a bit too tired to think it through clearly, the two decided, “A complete stranger visiting in the middle of the night? Probably a decent guy—sure he can stay the night.”

The rest of the group expressed their concern about letting in a visitor unannounced, but the collective worries of the group were eased when Hennik brought in a delicious breakfast.

And thus, the group acquired a cook.

Needing something to do (and a way to feed themselves in the foreseeable future), the group went off to hunt. They located some of the local game birds and decided to hunt it. All things considered, the hunt went well, and they ended up with some food supplies. However, they also discovered that the birds had short, stubby spines hidden beneath their feathers.

Later on, the group also visited Ho’ak village to learn from the locals the ways of agriculture on the planet.

Nothing much else happened that morning; it was a peaceful beginning to a troubled day.

The Long Ride Home
(Where the Greatest Distance from A to B is a Straight Line)


Last time on Everybody Runs:

Finn: “She loves me, she loves me not…”

Gargo: “It’s a lemon! Gimme a discount.”

Maximus: zapzapzapzap “Ain’t your lucky day, punk.”

Today’s Episode

Having saddled up Sorcerer with everything their meagre wallets could support, the posse set out for their home-sweet-home on the range (Roga and Eein in tow). However, having been told by their chief ranch-hand that bandits would occasionally camp out on the bridge, the group approached with caution. Observing from afar, the group spotted a dire “delicate” situation: three armed beings were standing guard over three figures kneeling at the bridge entrance with hoods draped over their heads. Memphis surmised that they were about to stumble into a pin the tail on the tauntaun hostage situation.

The posse surveyed the situation. On the other side of the bridge was a small village; sitting atop a hill on the village were two other beings. One held a long-range weapon of some kind, the other had a blaster aimed at the head of another hostage.

The group formulated a mad plan: Roga gave Gargo and Finn a ride around the river to the other side of the village; everyone else (including Eein) piled into the back of Sorcerer with the intent of having Bonda draw up near the bridge guards to taken them by surprise.

However, as Sorcerer got closer to the bridge, a voice crackled over the posse’s comms.

Marshal Memphis Tyrain?” it said.

“Go ahead,” Memphis responded.

“You are required to hand over the escapee Finn Amersu, or we will open fire. You have five seconds to comply.”

In a crunch, the group agreed to hand him over (despite the fact that he was actually across the river). They drew nearer and were commanded to halt. As a desperate attempt to stall for time, Memphis hopped out and tried to lure the enemies closer. They didn’t buy his act. Then, that’s when Wyn decided to jump into the mix. He accomplished this in a three-part process.

Step 1: He shot up more drugs than a pre-concert space rock star getting on his backstage-blitzkrieg.

Step 2: He stumbled out of the truck stark-raving mad and trippin’ mad ballz.

Step 3: He attempted to stall for more time by insinuating that Memphis was stalling for more time.

At this point, a green flash (originating from the far hilltop in the village across the bridge) blinked into view. Memphis had just enough time to dive behind Sorcerer’s hood, but the wave of energy rolled over the top of it and singed his left shoulder. By “singed” I mean “instantly crippled.”

Fortunately, Memphis had enough luck concentration to pop out and take down one of the nearby enemies that had been guarding the bridge. Eein followed suit, destroying the second of the three guards. And Wyn… Well, he… What he did is hard to describe.

Keep in mind that Wyn is “altered-stated” out of his mind and is now anger-level 9000 because one of the posse had just been severely wounded on his watch.

The remaining goon opened fire at Wyn. The good doctor, in turn, literally took no notice, taking the blaster bolt in stride like a playful zephyr during a walk in the space springtime. Next, he roid-raged the crap out of the remaining mook.

“At least, he’s…. ‘alive,’ ” he said, panting and wiping off some of the other guy’s blood after the beating was complete.

Backtracking a little bit, we now turn our attention to the Wild Maximus in his natural habitat: far away and with a gun leveled at sombody’s head. You see, when I said that most everybody else was in the back of Sorcerer, I lied. Maximus had stayed behind on a hilltop using the SKZ Sporting Blaster. He had managed to take out the minor goon on the hilltop, and had took a chunk out of the opposing sniper.

Now, changing the scene once again to hop over to Gargo and Finn, we can see that they managed to get the drop on the two baddies. After Maximus had taken out the baddie who was guarding the hostage, Gargo utilized their superior positioning to drop a grenade into the sniper’s back pocket. Needless to say, all that was left of that fellow was his boots and the disruptor rifle he’d been using.

Afterwards, the village elder donated some food to the posse as a gesture of gratitude.
And, finally, the posse made it the long ride home and arrived at Bluesun Ranch.

PC Party and the Shootypants Kid
(First Impressions Are the Best Impressions, Right?)


Last time on Everybody Runs:

Finn: “What’s seen cannot be unseen!”

Memphis: “What does this trandoshan have in common with a folding chair? Everything.”


Today’s Episode

After setbacks, scary times, and a short space flight with Rando Hesht, our valiant ensemble cast finally makes it to Xibalba. On the way there, Gargo made use of the time to practice a little droid psychiatry and he delved into the inner psyche of R2B7 (the right-hand hunchback of the evil droid ring-leader). Turns out, the tiny astromech was the little droid that could…turn other droids into nasty little murder machines.

While sifting through the droid’s childhood memories, Gargo identified a personality packet that did not correspond to the rest of R2B7’s routine. The packet contained an interrupt code that could forcefully manumitted brainwash other droids and reprogram them into killing machines. In other words, the little astromech was basically a psycho vampire capable of raising a zombie droid army through cyber-hypnosis.

Adding a dash of enigma to their quandry entree, the party discovered that the caravan to Xibalba they had wanted to catch was, apparantly, the victim of some kind of space mystery smoke monster from Lost. The ships were untouched, but not a soul survived. (Well, presumably—no one has heard from them yet, which probably means they’re either dead or beyond this realm of existence.) Oh yeah, they also found out that the droid that, allegedly, had arranged for the posse’s transportation to Xibalba didn’t actually come from the corporation. No one knows who arranged for their passage to the planet, nor why. The only information that could be gleaned was some vague clues about a ship: an oblong cruiser that wasn’t of Correlian design.

Still more questions remained: where did the zombie-king subroutine come from? How did R2B7 get infected? If the Three Moons colony hadn’t arranged for the posse’s travel to Xibalba, who did?

However, those questions were immediately put to one side for resolution at a later date.

The posse rolled onto the Xibalban landing pad and put their paperwork into order. Wyn attempted to get on the good side of Three Moons Colony’s administrator (Styloc’kho), but to no avail. The good doctor had received some bad information about Xibalba’s state of disease, causing him to come off as a raving doom-sayer. His fellow posse members stood up for him, which kept him from appearing COMPLETELY crazy, but his employment opportunity was severely limited until such a time as he proved himself as not a loony doctor.

During his conversation with the administrator, Memphis learned the brief history of Xibalban Marshals: Raashk Gontarr (Trandoshan) was an old tough koot who managed to best the planet. He died of old age. The second marshal, Sa’an Hodsul (Twi’lek), left after a month. The third marshal, Tola Vaandin (Human), also left after a month of employment. Finally, the third marshal—the one Memphis was hired to replace—died under mysterious circumstances. Jett Kasrigory, the previous marshal, left Three Moons in pursuit of an unknown criminal. The next day, his body was found cut to pieces, presumably by scythe runners (a particularly nasty bit of local fauna).

After leaving the administrative offices, the posse encountered a T98-6A: A duel in progress. Some goon was staring down an old man. Memphis attempted to talk the goon into giving up. However, as he chatted, with Mr. Murderer-to-be, Maximus spotted a sniper on a nearby rooftop, aiming at the old man in the duel.

Then, things happened real fast: Maximus tried to alert Memphis to the sniper’s presence; the goon realized their act had been foiled, and drew his gun to take his shot; the “old man” turned out to be a rather young man with a gun the size of Space-Texas, who promptly relieved the goon of most of his middle chest; the aforementioned sniper managed to wing the young Mr. Shootypants.

Memphis got close and tazed the sniper to within an inch of consciousness, zapping him off the edge of the building. The recently-deputized Maximus closed in and turned the bad guy’s bad day up to 11. To this day, that poor creature’s natural electronic field is strong enough to power small electronic devices. The whole town heard the strange ululation that resulted as a result of the sniper’s simultaneous screams mixed with the electrically-induced seizures.

Meanwhile, while Max and Memphis had been doing their buddy cop routine, Wyn had managed to perform some impressive first aid, dressing and reversing the wound that had been sustained. The aforementioned lawmen returned to the group to meet the young stranger, who introduced himself as Eein Faust.

Being a lone-wolf vigilante hotblood, he threw a fit expressed his irritation at being interrupted (looking especialy at Max, who’s comment on the sniper had alerted the goon). Eein noted that he’d been in complete control of the situation.

“We have a good doctor. Everything turned out alright,” was Maximus’ response.

“Good thing too!” said Eein with a leer.

“We’re going to be great friends. I can tell,” said Max.

“I heard the screams from the back of the building,” said Eein with a smile. “I guess we will.”

The two shook hands, and all was immediately buried deep down inside to fester over the next few months forgiven.

After the excitement, the group met up with Roga Daelo (as well as Gwee, Freighter, and Bomber—his pet blarth and tookas, respectively), their gungan head ranch hand, and made a number of purchases. In the end, they left the city with a refurbished hover truck (which they christened Sorcerer), a patrol car, and a Djarik table. Most importantly, they had a sound dampener to drown out nocturnal ambient noises, which would allow them to sleep on the wild planet.

With that, they headed out to their new homestead: Bluesun Ranch.

All's Quiet on the Mining Front
(Except for the Screaming)

When we last left our group of intrepid travelers, they had just gotten tangled up in a bit of nasty business involving smugglers, gambling, and a half-torn coupon for free death sticks. By this I mean that the bulk of the party was away adventuring on Coruscant, while Memphis was busy making his way towards the plot (having stopped at a space station to pick up a pack of death sticks). Now, the group find themselves together on a planet with no way off except by the “gracious,” grubby hand of a local Hutt.

This particular piece of slug-butt is called “Bargos.” He recently acquired a little oridium mining operation in a sabbac game. However, he needs a few desperate brave adventurers to go and collect his cut of the profits (which comes out to the tune of 100,000 credits). It’s located on the planet Gavos II, which is a bit too core-ward for Bargos’ taste. And, with no other way to get to Corellia in time to catch the caravan headed to Xibalba, the colonists-to-be join hands with the low-class crimelord (and quickly wipe down with a sonic shower afterwards).

However, this relatively simple-sounding shakedown gets complicated. Soon after the party posse arrives at Gavos II (a planet, by the way, with a toxi-caustic atmosphere made mostly of poison, hate, and Nick-at-Nite reruns), they find dead people. The bodies of four miners: three brothers plus a friend. No evidence.

The posse relied on the cunning of their Twi’lek trader to interpret what little could be found, at the great expense of the poor creature’s state of mind. Needless to say, this mental toll only grew throughout their time in the Oridelve Mining complex. The sight of a trandoshan… folded in half… backward… Well, let’s just say that’s an image that the Xibalba-bound spacers won’t be forgetting anytime soon.

Mystery piled atop enigma with a topping of uncertainty and a side of strange. The only miners they could find were dead. The only somewhat intelligent entities they found were an administrator droid and a foul-mouthed astromech droid. Things were looking grim. And confusing. Things were grimfusing. Then, the posse began to fear for their own lives: the shield wall was being sabotaged.

As mentioned before, the atmosphere of Gavos II is toxi-caustic. As not mentioned before, the planet also exhibited Dune-scale storms that were only mitigated to a level of “not completely deadly to all things not made of rock” by a ring of shield generators—a ring that was growing weaker as an unknown entity destroyed the generators, one by one.

As fortune, fate, or deus ex machina would have it, there was an unmanned (and lightly armed) freighter in port. The posse was able to pilot the craft through the storm winds and shoot down the mysterious foe, allowing them to return to the mining complex.

With the clock no longer counting down to their demise, they pressed further into the complex, where they found a large group of droids walling off a tunnel at the behest of an overseer droid. Upon polite inquiry questioning, the overseer recounted a tale of gamorrean pirates that had assaulted the facility. The droid said the facility’s droid population had feigned deactivation while they passed by, pursuing the miners into the shaft.

The posse rode into the mine, where they finally met their first living being since arriving at the oridium mining operation. The miners also confirmed the posse’s suspicions: there were no gamorrean pirates. It was the droids that had gone rogue, shooting miners and sabotaging the shield wall.

Also, at this point, it is worth mentioning that the administrator droid, whom the posse had dragged along, got totally obliterated by the miners upon sight (apparently, the droid had shot one of their co-workers in the back).

Having found the miners (and, more importantly, the actual overseer of the Oridelve Mining operation who had the passcode to the floor safe strongbox), the posse banded together to form a counter-offensive.

One detonite explosion, one giant metal backhand, and many blaster bolts later, the overseer droid (as well as his foul-mouthed astromech henchman) was destroyed by the thunderous explosion of a well-placed anti-armor grenade. All that was left of the villainous duo was the astromech’s head (which would totally make for a great mantle decoration and conversation piece), and the faint smell of sullied oil.

With the devious overseer destroyed, the remaining droids returned to their normal operating capacity and the miners were able to resume control of the facility. Initially, the old man in charge of the outfit assessed their damages and expenses in excess of 60,000 credits. However, the posse once again relied on the wit of their resident Twi’lek trader. This wolf-merchant in sheep’s clothing proceeded to walk them through a space Dave Ramsey money makeover, demonstrating their true costs to only be around 20,000 credits. This money magic left the miners with a little extra, once Bargos’ cut had been taken out.

Having saved the day, solved a mystery, and been all-around awesome in general, the posse delivered the money and finally resumed their trek towards Xibalba.

Tune in next time!

GM Edit: For clarity’s sake, the “posse” was stuck on Teth after the colonial convoy that had left from Corellia failed to show up at the appointed destination. Thus marooned on aforementioned cesspit, the players found themselves temporarily allied with Bargos in exchange for a small sum of credits and passage to their ultimate destination: Xibalba.

Welcome to your campaign!
A blog for your campaign

Wondering how to get started? Here are a few tips:

1. Invite your players

Invite them with either their email address or their Obsidian Portal username.

2. Edit your home page

Make a few changes to the home page and give people an idea of what your campaign is about. That will let people know you’re serious and not just playing with the system.

3. Choose a theme

If you want to set a specific mood for your campaign, we have several backgrounds to choose from. Accentuate it by creating a top banner image.

4. Create some NPCs

Characters form the core of every campaign, so take a few minutes to list out the major NPCs in your campaign.

A quick tip: The “+” icon in the top right of every section is how to add a new item, whether it’s a new character or adventure log post, or anything else.

5. Write your first Adventure Log post

The adventure log is where you list the sessions and adventures your party has been on, but for now, we suggest doing a very light “story so far” post. Just give a brief overview of what the party has done up to this point. After each future session, create a new post detailing that night’s adventures.

One final tip: Don’t stress about making your Obsidian Portal campaign look perfect. Instead, just make it work for you and your group. If everyone is having fun, then you’re using Obsidian Portal exactly as it was designed, even if your adventure log isn’t always up to date or your characters don’t all have portrait pictures.

That’s it! The rest is up to your and your players.


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